TSK · Ecclesiastes 2:17

If you treat me this way, please kill me right now, if I have found favor in your sight; and don't let me see my wretchedness."

"Why is light given to him who is in misery, life to the bitter in soul,

I loathe my life. I don't want to live forever. Leave me alone, for my days are but a breath.

Remember how short my time is! For what vanity have you created all the children of men!

Then I looked at all the works that my hands had worked, and at the labor that I had labored to do; and behold, all was vanity and a chasing after wind, and there was no profit under the sun.

Moreover I saw under the sun, in the place of justice, that wickedness was there; and in the place of righteousness, that wickedness was there.

Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the desire. This also is vanity and a chasing after wind.

So the Spirit lifted me up, and took me away; and I went in bitterness, in the heat of my spirit; and the hand of Yahweh was strong on me.

It happened, when the sun arose, that God prepared a sultry east wind; and the sun beat on Jonah's head, so that he fainted, and requested for himself that he might die, and said, "It is better for me to die than to live."

But I am in a dilemma between the two, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better.